Today is the anniversary of my beautiful daughter Melissa passing away. Just 13 days after her 32nd birthday. Today is a very emotional hard day mentally also. Not only for myself but for my son in law. All that has happened has not nor will it change the fact that I love him as a son. 

To know her was to love her. If you never knew her you would not know what a caring person she was, she loved her kids and husband beyond belief. 
She loved her friends and family to the fullest love will go. I miss her very much. There is not a day goes by that something will come up that makes me think of her. Or what she would think about that. or just to even chat with on the phone like we did all the time.
I am so thankful that I was able to spend 4 months with her prior to her death. 
There are times that stuff happens and you can not see the reason behind it but then a light bulb goes off in your head and it is a ah ha moment. Then you understand that why it happened was the best thing to have been.'

This is and has been a very emotional hard year for me. You never expect to lose a child before you pass. It just is not to happen. But when it does it is very hard to express what it has done to you or how you will handle it. Handling it people would think that it will be so easy for the person going through it. People forget that it was a child that is gone not a spouse. I think losing a spouse is not as hard as losing a child. 

I am thankful for the fact that I have 5 beautiful grandchildren and a son in law (extended family). He will always be my son in law and a part of my life no matter should he find someone. I just hope that she is accepting of the fact that I am and will be in their lives. The children are the only link I have left of my daughter. 

As a person gets older the things that you value changes with life changes. Things that you never thought you would value has turned out to be the best change. You look at life differently. When you are in your 20's you look at someone in there 40's and 50's as being really old. But when you reach those milestones they do not seem to be that old. There are things that you thought would always be important to you no matter how little. But in reality they are not so important to you. 

You age and your body ages, you have weight gain that you always stated you would not have. But reality sets in and low and behold you have weight issues. You lose your parents before you think you should. But it happens. You think you will be married to the same person for the rest of your life because that is all you see in the here and now. 

I got to go.